


Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow

by Hartley_Blaze



Series: Cupid series [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:21:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22716436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hartley_Blaze/pseuds/Hartley_Blaze
Summary: It's Valentine's Day and all Nicole wants to do is spend the day with Waverly. But duty calls. Getting called in to deal with baby Cupid causing havoc with his bow and arrow, she has to solve the problem before she can call it a day and get back to her girl.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Series: Cupid series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162133
Comments: 18
Kudos: 153





	1. I've Got Cows!

**Author's Note:**

> So, does anyone else think Robin's going to end up a deputy?

The homestead was quiet, the hour early and everyone was still in bed. Not necessarily asleep though. Outside, fresh snow had blanketed the ground again and the morning had yet to warm up. The perfect sort of day to stay in bed with the one you loved, all snuggled up and keeping each other warm.

Waverly Earp’s hands clenched around the sheet she was lying on, her eyes scrunched tightly shut, her hips rocking up desperately to meet the delicious swirl of her girlfriend’s tongue. She was trying to be quiet. She was trying to be respectful of this being Wynonna’s home as well and her sister probably being asleep. She had been made aware by her older sister that the walls were thin, had been made aware that her big sister didn’t need to hear how happy Nicole made her.

But she couldn’t help it if her redhead was so talented. She couldn’t lie still when her body demanded to writher, couldn’t keep her mouth shout when little moans and gasps, and not so little moans and gasps, bubbled up.

“Oh! God, Nicole, don’t stop!”

Nicole was between her spread legs using her talented tongue in the most pleasing way.

It was Valentine’s Day, and their day off, and no big bad needed dealing with. They had all the time in the world to indulge in each other for as long as they wanted, or at least until the call of breakfast got too strong. Or Wynonna decided to come and yell at them to knock it off.

Nicole had woken first, as was her habit, and had woken Waverly up with soft kisses to her girlfriend’s shoulder and neck, up to her chin and cheek. When that had resulted in hums of approval, she had slipped down the bed, or rather, down Waverly’s body, caressing and kissing exposed skin as she went.

“Nicole!” Waverly moaned aloud, unable to bite it back anymore. “Oh, God, baby!” She was getting close. She could feel her orgasm building in the pit of her belly, her tingling toes, her thundering heartbeat. “Oh!”

Nicole’s phone started ringing on the bedside table and had Waverly groaning for all the wrong reasons.

“No!” she gasped. “Don’t you dare answer that!”

The redhead started to pull away from the warm body of her girlfriend. “Sorry, baby. I have to,” she apologised.

Reaching down her own body, Waverly’s hand found the back of Nicole’s head, her fingers threading into silky red locks. “No, you don’t.”

Kissing her way back up Waverly’s quivering body, Nicole offered a small dimpled smile. “Babe, I’m the sheriff.”

“I’m your girlfriend,” Waverly pouted. “I’m so close, baby. The stupid town can wait.” She ran her hands down Nicole’s back and squeezed her thighs against the solid body laying between them. “If you love me, you’ll ignore it.”

Nicole groaned and dropped her head onto Waverly’s chest. “Waves.”

“Baby,” Waverly replied playfully, knowing full well she was winning the argument.

The redhead was saved from making the decision when the phone fell silent after the tenth ring. “Guess it wasn’t that important,” she grinned.

Smiling triumphantly, Waverly wiggled, indicating what she wanted. “Well then, Sheriff, show me what you’ve got.”

Not needing to be told twice and never wanting to deny her girlfriend anything, the redhead kissed her way back down her girlfriend’s body, more than ready to get back to their early morning lovemaking. She loved everything about this woman, the way she tasted, the way she smelt, the feel of her. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve Waverly Earp, but she thanked every deity she could think of regularly that things had worked out the way they had.

With her tongue swirling slowly around Waverly’s hard clit, she slipped two fingers inside her girlfriend and felt hot silky walls pulsing with impending climax. The couple were so caught up in the moment, neither heard the thumping footsteps on the stairs.

“Yo, sheriff dipshit! Turn your damn phone on. I’m not your secretary!” Wynonna called out grumpily, seconds before bursting into the bedroom. She screeched as she lay eyes on the bed, seeing way more than she ever wanted to see. “My eyes!”

“Wynonna!” Waverly shrieked in horror, going from intense pleasure to absolute embarrassment in two seconds flat. She scrambled to grab the blankets to cover herself and ended up kicking Nicole repeatedly as she moved.

“Jesus, Wynonna!” Nicole growled, holding a hand to the side of her head which had taken a hefty knock from her girlfriend’s legs and feet as Waverly scrambled to get clear of her. “Don’t you ever knock?”

“Why don’t you lock the door? You think I needed to see you doing adult things to my baby sister this early in the morning!” Wynonna complained, a hand slapped over her eyes and cheeks puffing out like she was going to throw up. “And don’t get me started on your pasty white butt!”

“Then stop entering rooms without knocking first!”

“Maybe you should turn your phone on then, Sheriff! I don’t need to be woken up by your deputies calling me in a panic because they can’t get a hold of you.”

Nicole frowned as she focused on the phone in the brunette’s hand, a sinking feeling settling in her belly. “Wynonna, you’re not on the phone to someone, are you?”

Looking down at the forgotten phone, Wynonna rolled her eyes. “Uhh, yeah. It’s for you. Some sort of emergency in town they need you for.”

“You at least muted it, right?” Nicole knew she hadn’t because she was Wynonna and why would she. She lived for driving Nicole mad.

“Nope. Guess everyone’s gonna know about your pale butt now.”

“Groaning in despair, the redhead waved the other woman forward, then remembered she had her eyes covered. “You’ll have to come here and give me the phone.”

“Uh-uhh, I’m not getting any closer. I’m traumatised enough.”

“Do you really want me to get up and come to you?”

“Wynonna come here and give her the damn phone!” Waverly growled, her embarrassment having faded and been replaced with anger and frustration.

Taking a small step towards the bed, Wynonna groaned unhappily as her bare foot got tangled up in someone’s bra. She flung the phone onto the bed and scarpered, yelling back that she needed loads of whiskey to get over her trauma and that they were paying for it.

“Hello?” Wynonna had neglected to mention who it was calling, and Nicole could only hope it wasn’t the mayor or someone of equal importance. Brown eyes widened as she listened to what she was being told by one of her deputies. “Try and keep people calm. I’ll be there as quickly as possible.” She hung up and clambered out of the warm bed, instantly shivering as the chill of the bedroom greeted her.

“Let me guess, someone in town forgot it was Valentine’s Day and an argument has broken out between him and his beloved,” Waverly groaned, knowing their romantic morning was well and truly over.

Glancing over her shoulder at her girlfriend, Nicole found Waverly with an arm over her eyes and a pout on her lips. Adorable, she thought, wanting nothing more than to kiss the pout away. “Apparently, baby Cupid is in town and has been floating around firing arrows at people.” She tugged on her trousers.

“Oh, so someone is drunk and causing a disturbance.”

“Bunny Loblaw was hit by one such arrow and now insists she is in love with a woman staring back at her from the diner’s window. There is no woman inside staring back at her, it’s just her reflection.”

Removing her arm from across her eyes, Waverly blinked at the redhead, trying to determine whether or not she was joking. “What?”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, despite the early hour, she’s causing quite the stir.”

Waverly sat up, distracting Nicole completely as the blankets fell away from her naked body. “You’re not joking?”

“Wish I was,” Nicole murmured. Forgetting that she was supposed to be hustling, the sheriff put a knee on the mattress for balance and lowered herself to indulge in Waverly’s sweet lips. “I really, really, want to stay here with you.”

“So, stay,” Waverly suggested, arms lifting and wrapping around her girlfriend’s neck, fingertips teasing dishevelled red locks.

“This damn town gets crazier and crazier,” Nicole groaned. “Let me deal with Bunny, then I’ll be straight back.” Standing up, she cleared her throat and tried to remember what it was she was doing. “WYNONNA!”

“I’M BUSY!” the brunette shouted back from downstairs.

“I NEED YOU.”

“OBVIOUSLY!”

Rolling her eyes, Nicole shrugged on a shirt and walked over to the closed bedroom door as she started doing up the buttons. Opening the door, she half stepped out of the room. “Wynonna, it’s work. Get dressed.” Walking back over to the bed, she smiled apologetically at her girlfriend. “Sorry, baby. I was really looking forward to staying in bed with you.”

“Work is never done for a small-town sheriff I guess.”

Nicole took a seat on the edge of the bed to put her socks on. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“This could be a prank,” Waverly pointed out.

“Could be. Don’t think it is. Are you staying here or coming with?”

“You want me to come with?”

“You’re part of the team. My team.” The redhead smiled adoringly. “Plus, Wynonna might behave a little more if you’re with us.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Waverly asked in amusement.

Nicole shrugged. “I live in hope.”

Knowing her girlfriend was in a hurry to get to town and not ready to get up just yet, Waverly waved a hand dismissively. “Call me once you know what’s what. Maybe I’ll swing by with hot coffee and doughnuts.”

Boots on and laced up, Nicole stood up as she nodded. “All right. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck.”

*** * * * ***

“So, what you’re saying is…” Wynonna blinked, pausing to give Nicole the chance to tell her she was joking. The redhead remained tight-lipped. “There’s a little baby Cupid floating around town armed with a bow and arrow.”

“Right.”

“And one of these arrows hit Bunny Loblaw and she’s now in love with herself?” Wynonna burst out laughing. “Fitting. That woman loves no one as much as she loves herself.”

Brown eyes briefly left the road to look at the brunette. “Now you get why I was called.”

“And you’re taking me with you because…?”

“You deal with… weird shit.”

Leaning forward, Wynonna started fiddling with the heating. “I used to deal with weird shit, but the rev-heads are gone now and I’m just back to being me.”

“You’re still pretty amazing, Wynonna,” Nicole complimented.

“I’m the greatest, everyone wants to be me.” Her gaze flicked to the redhead who looked back in amusement. “Okay, not so much,” she conceded. “But I should totally be able to retire though. Why do I still get called in when weird shit goes down?”

“Because everyone has learnt to trust that you’ll sort it out. Like when Bobo poisoned everyone, and you came up with the antidote.”

“Technically that was black badge,” Wynonna muttered. “All right, fine. But I expect you to buy me coffee and doughnuts. A girl needs fuel if she’s to save the town.”

“Waves mentioned supplying us if I put in a call.”

Looking over at the sheriff, Wynonna noted the lovesick look on her face and faked puking. “Bluh, you two make me sick.”

“No, we don’t. You’re secretly super happy that we have each other and love each other and….”

“And if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna throw up, then jump out of the car and leave you to deal.” The patrol car fell silent, but it wasn’t long before Wynonna started fidgeting again. “I suppose you two had big plans for today. Being the day of love and all.”

“Nothing major,” Nicole brushed off. “How about you and Doc, did you guys have any plans?”

Wynonna snorted. “Hardly. The love stuff isn’t our deal at all.” She exhaled heavily, shaking off her conflicted feelings on Doc Holliday. “So, what’s the plan for baby Cupid?”

“You’re asking me?”

“You’re the sheriff, Sheriff. Technically they called you, not me. I’m just your tag along.”

Eyes on the winding road, Nicole thought over what she had been told. “How do you plan for a floating baby Cupid?”

“Welcome to my world,” Wynonna grinned.

Nicole smiled as she glanced Wynonna’s way. “Waverly thinks this might all be a prank.”

“I say we leave Bunny to it. No harm no foul, right?”

“Okay, first we have to determine if it really is a floating baby Cupid and not just everyone tripping on happy drugs or something.”

“Right.”

“If it is drugs, we ship Bunny off to hospital for treatment.”

“And if there really is a Cupid?”

Nicole puffed out her cheeks. “I have no idea. This wasn’t covered in my training. Nothing in Purgatory was covered in my training.” She shook her head.

*** * * * ***

Parking the cruiser, Nicole turned off the engine and stared out the windshield at the scene before her. It was like the town had gone mad. Again. Quite a crowd had gathered, some of them were standing around looking bewildered, others were amused, and a few looked her way and smiled in relief.

Listening to the ticking of the cooling engine, brown eyes took in what was happening. She hadn’t been told there was a crowd, she had thought it was an isolated incident involving only Bunny Loblaw. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got.” She undid her seatbelt and climbed out of the car, unprepared for the small group of people who rushed towards her and all started talking at once.

“Sheriff, she’s lost her mind!”

“She’s been talking to her reflection for the last half hour at least.”

“Never mind Bunny! Doug Amplas is making a fool of himself. He announced he’s in love with Alan.”

“Loudly and publicly here in town, much to his poor wife’s anger and embarrassment.”

“They’ve been friends for twenty years, maybe he is suddenly gay.”

“They say it spreads,” Harmoney Lantz spoke up, eyeing Nicole suspiciously.

Taking offence to that, Nicole put up her hands, calling for silence from them. “When did all this start?” She rolled her eyes as they all started talking over each other. “Which one of you was here first?” That didn’t help matters either. “All right, Harmoney, step over here with me. The rest of you wait by the cruiser. I’ll need to talk to all of you.”

Needing a hand, she turned to look for Wynonna and rolled her eyes when she spotted the brunette laughing loudly as she filmed what was going on with Bunny Loblaw. “Wynonna!”

Grinning, Wynonna looked at Nicole. “Are you seeing this, Haught-ness? Bun-Bun’s completely lost the plot. Look, I have it on film for future blackmailing purposes.”

“Blackmail is illegal, Wynonna.”

“Not if I’m trying to get you re-elected as sheriff.”

“Still illegal, Wynonna.” Looking around for one of her deputies, she spotted Robin across the street and waved him over.

“Sheriff, happy valentine’s day,” he smiled in greeting. “Glad you’re here. Things are a little… Purgatory.”

“So I’ve heard. Want to tell me what you know?”

“We got a call about Mrs. Loblaw acting strangely, so I came out to investigate. When I got here, I started getting reports from people about a baby with a bow and arrow floating around.”

“Cupid?”

“That’s what they said.”

“Have you seen him?”

“Not yet.” Robin frowned as he looked around. “I’m thinking mass hysteria.”

“Who said they had seen Cupid?”

“Eddie the firefighter and Colt Ogden.” He looked over in the direction he had last seen the two men. “Uhm, who are now acting odd.”

She looked in the direction he was looking and saw Colt Ogden sitting on the kerb crying. Colt was a big man, a manly man, who liked nothing more than spending hours in the gym. But here he was sobbing like a baby. “Why’s he crying?”

“No idea. He was fine.”

Looking at the dirty dancing firefighter, she recognised him as the one who had flirted with her when she was drumming up support for her election as sheriff. As he noticed her watching him, he smiled big and bright and gave her a delicate little wave before starting to dance his way over. “Oh, God!” she groaned, not needing that this early in the day. “Intercept Eddie for me, and question him while I talk to Harmoney,” she ordered. “Ask him what he saw, how it started, who else was around, you know the drill.”

“On it, Sheriff.”

Turning her attention to Wynonna, Nicole rolled her eyes at the other woman who was now encouraging Bunny’s bad behaviour. “Wynonna, I need you to question Clayton for me.”

“Busy here.”

“Wynonna,” the redhead sighed in a hard-done-by tone that made Wynonna roll her eyes.

“All right fine,” the brunette pouted.

Walking over to where Harmoney was waiting, Nicole smiled politely at the blonde as she took out her notebook. “You know, Mrs. Lantz, homophobic comments aren’t helpful and are illegal.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“They say it spreads,” Nicole quoted. “While looking at me, who, it’s no secret, is a lesbian.”

“People do say that! They say…”

Nicole put up a hand, stopping the woman in her tracks. “I should just warn you I will arrest you if you say anything incriminating.” She watched the woman’s mouth snap shut. “Now, perhaps you can tell me what went on here this morning.” She started taking notes as the woman rambled, getting an idea of what had occurred but not how it had started. “I had a report of a flying Cupid armed with a bow and arrow. Can you verify that?”

“Cupid? Like the god of love Cupid?”

“Apparently.”

“Well, I didn’t see him. But then I wasn’t really looking. I was too busy watching poor Bunny.” Harmoney shook her head sadly. “She always appeared so competent, so in control, on top of her game.”

“She’s not dead, Mrs. Lantz.”

“It’s sad to see her have a breakdown like this. A public breakdown which won’t be easily covered up.”

“Bunny’s just suffering…” Nicole wracked her brain for a lie, a suitable lie. “The effects of a suspected gas leak. Thank you for your time.” She walked away before the woman could question her. “Robin,” she called out for his attention.

He walked over, cheeks burning red. “Sheriff?”

“What did Eddie have to say?”

“He wants to put on a private show for you. You, him and a bottle of baby oil.”

Blinking rapidly as she tried to rid herself of that mental picture, Nicole cleared her throat. “About the incident, Robin. What did he say about the incident?”

“Not much. Bunny was fine, then baby Cupid hit her with his love arrow and now she’s… doing what she’s doing.”

Wynonna wandered over, looking bored.

“What did Clayton have to say?” Nicole asked her.

“He was minding his own business when he heard shouting. Turning around to see what was going on, he saw Alan Roffe running away from Doug Amplas with a look of sheer terror on his face. Doug was shouting a declaration of love, while his poor, long suffering wife, Clayton’s words not mine, ran after the pair looking furious and humiliated.”

“He has no idea how it started then?”

“Nope. Why’s Colt bawling like a baby?”

“No idea.”

“So, what is going on, Sheriff?” Robin asked.

“It appears a couple of people have…” Nicole thought of a lie, a plausible lie. “Had a reaction.”

Wynonna nodded, getting where this was going. “Uh-huh, suspected gas leak. Again.”

“And the truth?” Robin asked, looking at the pair. He suspected they knew more than they were letting on, they always seemed to.

“No idea,” Nicole shrugged. “I’m gonna call Waves. She can grab Jeremy and they can start researching…” She trailed off because what exactly were they going to research? “Wynonna, have you heard anyone mention seeing a flying or floating baby Cupid?”

“Nope. No one can shut up about Bunny’s breakdown.” She looked over at the usually high-strung woman and watched her caressing the pane of glass lovingly. “Poor Bun-Bun.”

“So, Colt and Eddie are the only two saying they saw Cupid?”

“You know, maybe there really is a gas leak this time,” Robin suggested.

She doubted it, that would be too normal for Purgatory. “Get on with questioning everyone whose waiting by the cruiser, Robin. Wynonna, stay out of trouble while I phone your sister.”

“I promise nothing.”

Taking out her phone, Nicole dialled Waverly, wanting nothing more than to hear her voice and ask her advice on possibilities for what was going on. Waverly had always been the smart, level-headed one. “Hey, baby,” she breathed down the line once her girlfriend had picked up.

“Hey, Cutie. Was it a prank?”

“Not sure. Something is definitely going on, but whether it involves Cupid or not is another matter. Bunny is acting like she’s in love with her reflection, Eddie is dirty dancing, Mr. Amplas suddenly declared his love for his lifelong friend Alan…”

“Just another day in Purgatory,” Waverly sighed down the line. “I’ll grab Jeremy and we’ll start researching.”

“Researching what though, I still don’t know if there really is a flying Cupid.”

“We’ll look into mischief demons, spells that make people act how they are currently acting, reports of an actual Cupid, who, I don’t know if you know this, stems from Roman mythology.”

“Ahh, babe, you know I love it when you go all research mode,” Nicole flirted. Brown eyes widened as she watched Tanner Beauclerc run past, a charging cow following close behind her. “Uhh, baby, I’ve gotta go. I’ve got cows.”

“What? Nicole, did you say…?”

The sheriff hung up and slipped the phone back into her pocket, before taking off in the direction of the terrified woman and trailing cow. “Wynonna, gonna need your help!”

“No, dude. I don’t do cows.” Standing with Clayton and Harmoney, Wynonna watched the sheriff give chase, phone out and recording everything, keen to see how this all played out.


	2. Floating on a Cloud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos, much appreciated.

**Chapter Two**

**C** ow finally wrangled and tied up securely, Nicole sat back on the bonnet of her patrol car and ran a shaking hand through tussled red locks. She hadn’t realised how much trouble a single cow could cause and was exhausted and dirty from her efforts of getting it under control.

She wanted to go home and have a nice long bath, but she had work to do, a problem to solve, and a girlfriend to get back home to. It was Valentine’s Day and she was determined that nothing was going to stop her from showering Waverly with gifts and love, something the youngest Earp had never got from dear old Champ.

“Uh, Sheriff,” Robin approached cautiously. She looked like she was on the brink of having a meltdown and he didn’t want to be the catalyst.

“What is it, Robin?”

“Bunny Loblaw is…” He hesitated, not quite sure how to break the news.

Nicole looked up at him, squinting as sunlight hit her in the eyes. “Bunny’s what?”

“Getting worse. She started pacing while you were off…” He waved a hand in the direction she had run off in. “Now she’s…”

“She’s?” A russet eyebrow lifted in question.

“Undressing.”

“What!” Weariness gone, the redhead jumped to her feet and looked in the direction of Bunny Loblaw and sure enough, the woman had removed her coat and was now undoing the buttons on her blouse.

“You want this from me, don’t you?” Bunny cooed at her reflection. “You want me to be a naughty girl for you.”

Cringing in horror upon hearing that, Nicole walked over, knowing something had to be done. She couldn’t have people stripping off in the street.

“Where have you been all my life?” Bunny asked, reaching out to caress the glass in front of her. “Why have we never met before?”

“Okay, Bunny, let’s go,” Nicole said calmly, grasping the older woman’s arm.

“Go? I can’t go! I’ve finally met the love of my life in this godforsaken town!”

“Uh-huh, and the fact that it’s your reflection doesn’t concern you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. She looks nothing like me. Look at her, she’s beautiful. Those eyes, those teasing lips.” Bunny struggled in Nicole’s grasp, reaching back for the pane of glass, desperate to touch. “Our love cannot be denied!”

As Bunny really started struggling, Nicole strained to keep a hold of her, surprised the old girl had such fight in her. “If you don’t quit struggling, Bunny, I’m going to have to arrest you for your own good.”

Bunny glared at the sheriff; her pupils large. “I don’t know what sort of game this is, Sheriff,” she growled, her mood shifting into irritability. “But I don’t approve!”

“It’s not a game, Bunny. I don’t know what’s going on, but I need to get you to safety until we can figure it out.” Opening the rear door of her patrol car, Nicole eased the woman into the back seat.

“I’ll believe that when I see it! I still remember….”

“That’s enough, Bun-Bun,” Wynonna interrupted as she walked over. Slamming the door on the woman with satisfaction, she smiled at Nicole. “Waverly’s been calling.”

“Ah, hell,” the redhead groaned. “I hung up on her because I had to chase the cow. Thanks for all the help, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“You didn’t help, Wynonna.”

“I was keeping the crowd under control. Who knows what would’ve happen if I hadn’t been here?”

Rolling her eyes at the brunette was common practice. “Is Waves mad?”

“I think she’s upset. She seems to think you’ve bought a cow.”

“Why would I buy a cow?”

“Who can explain the things you do,” Wynonna grinned. “What happened to Tanner? Death by cow?”

“I’m pretty sure she ran all the way out of town. What’s the deal between you two?”

“High school drama. I’m over it. Really.”

“What the hell, Champ, put your clothes back on!”

The two women turned their attention in the direction of the disturbance and saw Pete York trying to fight off Champ, a very naked Champ.

“God, I did not need to see that!” Nicole groaned; eyes scrunched shut after witnessing a very handsy Champ grabbing at a bewildered Pete.

“Just take your clothes off, Pete. You’ll be free! Your skin can breathe.”

Laughing out loud, Wynonna grabbed her phone to start filming. “This day just keeps giving!”

“My skin can breathe just fine, thank you!” Pete slapped away Champ’s hands.

“Ooh, your eyes! Your eyes, man, they’re like…” Champ licked his lips as he tried to think of the perfect words to describe his old friend. “Like wet puddles.” He grinned triumphantly, sure that he had nailed it.

“Do you see anything out of place, Wynonna?” Nicole asked, searching the sky for Cupid, or someone standing in the shadows, something, anything, that didn’t belong.

“Champ trying to be romantic is pretty out of place,” Wynonna replied, camera pointed and recording.

“Stop it, Champ! I don’t want to get naked!” Pete insisted in a high-pitch, desperate eyes darting around for help. “You’re acting… weird.”

“Come on, don’t play hard to get.” Champ got his arms around the other man and puckered his lips.” Kissing is the best thing in the world. Let’s kiss.”

“Uh, shouldn’t you… break this up?” Wynonna asked, grossed out and fascinated all at the same time.

Nicole shook her head. “I really don’t want to go anywhere near a naked Champ.”

“I’m not playing!” Pete squirmed free and shoved Champ back. “It’s got you!” he shouted, pointing at Champ accusingly. “The… the sickness! It got Champ!”

People gasped and those nearby stepped back as though there really was an airborne sickness out to get them all.

“You don’t like my body, do you?” Champ whined. “You… you think I’m fat.”

“I… no, I… I don’t think you’re fat. I need you to put your clothes on.” He shifted uncomfortably as Champ’s eyes glistened with tears, his bottom lip quivering. “You’re my friend,” he said, backing away from the approaching man. “We’re not… you’re not… is this because Waverly dumped you for a girl?”

“Oh, that’s it, is it? You like Waverly more than me?”

Having seen more than enough and realising it was time to intervene before things got out of control, Nicole stood up straight and inhaled deeply, steadying herself for what she had to do. Exhaling, she strode over to the pair. “Put your clothes on, Champ,” she ordered, eyes diverted elsewhere.

“Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I like hanging free.” He put his hands behind his head, wiggled his hips and smirked at her.

“Okay, you’re under arrest for public indecency.” She grabbed one of his arms and spun him around quickly before bringing his arms down so she could cuff him. “And for making me queasy,” she muttered. Marching him over to the cruiser, she opened the back door and had Bunny shriek indignantly at her.

“Let me out of here! How dare you interfere…” Her eyes went to the naked form of Champ and widened. “You can’t put him in here with me! He’s naked! What sort of operation are you running!”

“She’s jealous of my love for Pete,” Champ said mournfully. “Beautiful Pete. First, she took my Waverly, now she won’t let me have Pete.”

That resonated with Bunny. “She’s jealous of my love as well.” She glared at Nicole. “Love hater! You won’t get away with…!”

Nicole slammed the door shut and sighed heavily as her eyes slid shut. This was not how she had envisioned her day going.

“Bad day, dear?”

Smiling upon hearing the familiar voice, brown eyes opened and locked onto the one person who could always make her feel better. “You… are a vision!” she sighed. Dressed from head to toe in layers to battle the cold, Waverly still managed to look like the sexiest woman on earth.

“And you look like you need coffee,” Waverly smiled, holding out a cup of coffee.

Taking the cup gratefully, Nicole took a healthy gulp and hummed her approval. “Just what I needed. Thank you, baby.”

“You’re welcome. Where’s Wynonna? I thought you brought her with you to help you out?”

Brown eyes rolled. “She’s spent most her time filming what’s going on. For blackmail purposes. Is that for her?” She pointed at the cup Waverly was holding.

“It was, but you can have it. You look like you need it.” Hazel eyes looked over her usually pristine girlfriend. “Nicole, you’re filthy. What happened?” Her eyes widened. “Was it the cow? You didn’t hurt the cow, did you?”

Finishing her first coffee, Nicole took the second cup. “The cow’s fine. I tied it up securely until we can track down who it belongs to so they can come pick him up.” She frowned. “Her up?” She shook her head; it didn’t really matter. “Anyway, the cow’s fine. I’m…” she looked down at herself. “…filthy, and Tanner Beauclerc is probably halfway to Mexico by now.”

“Tanner Beauclerc,” Waverly repeated. “There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.”

“Old friend?”

Waverly shook her head. “A tormentor of Wynonna’s back in high school. If anyone deserves to be chased by a cow, it’s definitely Tanner.”

Kissing her girlfriend’s forehead, Nicole delighted in having Waverly close, if only for a moment. “Not that I’m not delighted you’re here, Waves, but I thought you were grabbing Jeremy to do the research thing?”

“We’re meeting at the station. I thought you could use a pick me up first.” Waverly leaned in. “I don’t know about you, but this morning left me frustrated.”

“I hear you, baby.”

Looking past Nicole and into the rear of the police cruiser, Waverly blinked once, then twice as she took in what she was seeing. “Is Champ… naked?” she asked in confusion.

“Yep. And apparently now in love with Pete York.”

Waverly’s mouth formed a perfect o as she breathed, “Oh.”

“And Bunny’s in love with herself…”

“Well, not surprised by that one.”

“Mr. Amplas is suddenly in love with Mr. Roffe, Eddie’s dirty dancing in the street and Colt Ogden hasn’t stopped crying since I got here.” She shook her head. “Do you think this is some sort of love spell?”

“Maybe. That does seem to be a link.”

“Or maybe it’s plain old drugs. Bunny’s pupils were huge when she glared at me earlier.”

“Were Champ’s?”

“I was trying not to look too close at Champ, babe.” Second cup of coffee finished, she opened her arms for her girlfriend to step into and smiled adoringly as Waverly sank against her. “Next year, we’ll go away somewhere romantic.”

“Promise?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Their peaceful moment together was interrupted by a mob of agitated Purgatorians, demanding answers.

“Sheriff, what are you going to do about all this?” Clayton demanded to know.

“Is it airborne?”

“Where’s it come from?”

“Pete was right, it’s a sickness. A gay sickness!” Kyle York shouted, looking around at those gathered for support to his claim. “They’re all turning gay!”

Reluctantly releasing Waverly as the crowd gasped and started shouting in panic, Nicole stood up straight and looked around at them, meeting as many sets of eyes as she could, exuding calmness. “You need to calm down,” she ordered loud enough for them to hear her over their multiple questions. “Freaking out isn’t going to help anyone.”

“You not doing anything isn’t going to help anyone!” Harmoney Lantz retorted, getting nods of agreement from those around her.

“I’ve been trying to figure all this out since I got here,” Nicole replied incredulously.

“And got nowhere!” Kyle shouted. “While you were…” he waved a hand about, “…figuring stuff out, my brother practically got jumped by Champ. A naked Champ!”

“And Bunny started stripping,” Harmoney put in, her eyes wide as she looked around. “A naked, gay sickness!”

“It’s not a naked, gay sickness,” Nicole protested, though at this point it could well be. “Eddie’s over there dirty dancing,” she pointed.

The crowd turned to watch the firefighter.

“Putting on a show for Colt!”

“He’s not putting on a show,” Nicole argued.

“Oh, really? Colt’s so upset by it, he’s crying,” Clayton insisted.

“What you all want to do is back up and give the sheriff some space,” Randy Nedley said as he appeared through the crowd. “She can’t do her job if you’re all in her face shouting at her. Go on now, back up at least three paces.”

Nicole smiled in relief at seeing her old mentor. “Sheriff,” she greeted.

“You’re gonna have to stop calling me that eventually, Nicole,” the ex-sheriff smiled. “Jobs yours now. I’m just plain old Randy Nedley.”

“You’ll always be sheriff to me,” she smiled, knowing she would always have support she could count on from him. “And when situations like this arise, I’m more than happy to have your support and help.”

“I suppose I can help out this time, seeing as I’m here and all.” He looked around, noting Bunny Loblaw and Champ Hardy in the back of the cruiser with their tongues out, apparently trying to touch their noses.

“I have crazy people,” Nicole sighed. “Bunny’s in love with her reflection, Champ stripped and declared his love for Pete, Doug’s in love with Alan…”

“Possibly a cow in love with Tanner,” Waverly supplied helpfully.

Randy blinked at her then at Nicole. “Well, no one ever said it’s dull in Purgatory.”

“I think it’s drugs,” Nicole told him.

“Who would drug Bunny?”

“Who wouldn’t,” Waverly muttered.

All three turned as the cruiser started rocking, Bunny banging against the back windows with her hands, while a handcuffed Champ kicked at one of the doors.

“They’ve gone crazy!” Harmoney Lantz shouted.

“Pack that up!” Nicole snapped.

“Let us go! We’re free to love who we want, love hater!” Bunny screeched back.

“You should get them to the station,” Nedley advised. “Put them in a cell, separate cells, and call old Doc Emelin to come in and check them over.”

“I’ll have to round up everyone affected so far.”

“Right,” Randy nodded. “You can’t have drugged up townsfolk running riot.” His head tilted. “Though it has happened before, and probably will again.”

Nodding, brown eyes started searching for Robin and her other deputy. “I think whatever this is it’s only here in town. I haven’t had any reports from elsewhere. Could you hang around here, Sheriff? Let me know if anyone else goes down with it?”

He nodded. “I’m meeting Chrissy for breakfast. We’ll keep an eye on things.”

Wynonna wandered over, having spotted her sister and hoping for hot coffee and something delicious to nibble on. “Hey, Nedley. Still got the tash. Thought for sure you would have gone crazy and shaved it off.”

“Wynonna, a pleasure as always.” With a nod at Nicole, he took his leave.

“Baby girl,” she greeted her sister. “Did you bring coffee?” She eyed the cup Nicole was holding. “Where’s my coffee?”

“Uh…”

“I drank it,” Nicole told her. “Seeing how I’m doing all the work.”

“I’m working!” the brunette protested.

“Hardly.”

“I… questioned Clayton, I filmed people acting crazy…”

“So you can blackmail them at a later date,” the redhead put in.

“Video evidence,” Wynonna waved off. “I’ve been keeping an eye on everyone, my ear to the ground.” Seeing Nicole wasn’t buying it, she turned her attention to her sister. “You really gave my coffee to her?”

“I…”

“She loves me more,” Nicole grinned.

“No, we’re not doing this!” Waverly declared, refusing to be put in the middle of one of their squabbles. “I love you both equally.”

“But if you had to answer?” Wynonna questioned.

“Wynonna,” Waverly sighed.

“All right fine. Did you at least get me a doughnut?”

“Jeremy took the doughnuts back to the station. We assumed you’d be heading there eventually.”

“Robin!” Nicole waved him over.

Walking over, he smiled as he spotted Waverly. “Hey, Waves,” he greeted, moving in for a hug. “Where’s…?”

“Over at the station ready to do what he does best.”

“Robin,” Nicole got his attention.

“No new cases, Sheriff. But people are getting worked up and I don’t know what to tell them.”

“Tell them to remain calm, everything is under control.”

“Is it?” he questioned, not so sure.

“We’re going to grab Eddie and Colt and put them in your cruiser, then take them plus Bunny and Champ back to the safety of the station, where we can get a doctor to look them over.”

“What about Alan and Doug?”

“Alan’s fine, but Doug will have to come in. There weren’t any other calls, were there? Cases like this happening outside of town?”

He shook his head. “It all started with Bunny.”

Nicole looked at Waverly, who nodded back at her. “I’m on it. I’ll see you back at the station. Stay safe.”

With a plan in motion, the sheriff felt like the floor wasn’t tilting on her any more. She nodded, more in control. “Okay, let’s get going. Are you coming with me, Wynonna?”

“Well, I’m not staying here.”

“Thought you’d want to stick around and film anything else that might happen. For evidence purposes.”

“Nah, I’m good. Besides, I hear a doughnut calling my name.”

“Okay, you grab Colt and I’ll…”

Wynonna shook her head. “I don’t wanna grab Colt, he’ll cry all over me.”

Nicole sighed. “All right fine. I’ll grab Colt, you deal with Eddie.”

*** * * * ***

Trying to get a dancing Eddie into the back of a police cruiser was more of a challenge than it should have been. He weaved this way and that avoiding Wynonna’s hands, danced around a car, then took Wynonna’s hand and gave her a spin, before he started swaying with a lamppost.

Standing back, Wynonna puffed out her cheeks, exhausted. “At least he’s not dirty dancing any more.”

“I could have danced all night,” he sang at them, a dreamy smile on his face. “I could have danced, and still have begged for more.”

“Grab him, Wynonna,” Nicole ordered. She had rounded up Colt, who was still emotional for reasons he couldn’t explain and was now intent on helping to grab Eddie. She carefully moved in to corner the muscular man from the right, while Robin moved in on the left.

“You grab him, I’ll stand here and be a distraction.”

“I only know when he, began to dance with me….” Eddie cheerfully continued.

The redhead moved in, got her hand on Eddie’s right bicep, only to have him spin around on her and take her into his arms. “Hello, Sheriff. My, you look wonderful in the sunlight.”

“Thanks, Eddie. Let’s get you over to the cruiser and off to the station.”

“Can I dance?”

“I wouldn’t dream of stopping you.”

Humming, he danced them over to Robin’s cruiser and slid in surprisingly gracefully, sitting in the back of the car still wiggling and humming a tune only he could hear.

Robin had reluctantly helped Champ back into his shorts and gathered up his clothes for him to put on later and rounded up Doug. They were finally good to go.

“Okay, let’s go before anything else happens,” Nicole breathed, putting a hand to her chest as her heartbeat raced.

“You okay, Nicole?” Wynonna asked in concern. She always acted like she didn’t care, but in truth she did. She would do anything for her little band of misfits.

“Yeah, just built up a sweat chasing after Eddie.”

“And your heart? You’re holding your chest.”

“It’s nothing. Too much coffee too quickly.” Slipping into the driver’s seat, the redhead put on her seatbelt.

“I’ve never seen such incompetence,” Bunny sniffed from the backseat. “Forty-five minutes to catch a dancing man! Two of you!”

“Not now, Bun-Bun,” Wynonna warned.

With both hands on the steering wheel, Nicole rubbed the material as she inhaled deeply. Smiling, she turned the key, ready to go, ready to see Waverly again. “It was great of Waves to stop by,” she said with a grin as she pulled onto the road in a jerky stop-start motion.

“Have you forgotten how to drive?” Wynonna asked.

“I like driving. Driving’s fun.” She grinned big at Wynonna. “Your sister’s the best. She came with coffee. Which I drank. Then we got to cuddle a little.”

Frowning, Wynonna looked at the redhead. “You all right there, Haught?”

“Fine. Better than fine. I’m in love with a wonderful woman! An amazing woman!”

“My woman,” Champ muttered from the backseat. “You took her.”

Glancing back over her shoulder, she glared at him. “She loves me, you know?”

Wynonna’s eyes widened as they veered. She grabbed the wheel to straighten them out. “Might wanna watch the road, Sheriff.”

Brown eyes turned back to the road. “Driving is a lot like being in love.” She started veering again, this time on purpose. “Gliding along. No! Floating!” she said excitedly.

“Nicole!” Wynonna yelled, freaking out. “Nicole, get back on the right side of the road!”

“What’s she doing!” Champ squealed.

“She’s trying to kill us! She’s going to kill us!” Bunny shrieked.

Nicole looked at Wynonna, a big stupid grin on her face. “It’s like floating on a cloud.”

As they weaved left then right, right then left, drifting from one side of the road to the other, the three passengers started screaming in terror, while Nicole remained blissfully unconcerned.


	3. Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kudos and comments. Always a delight to get some feedback.

**Chapter Three**

“So, I had this whole romantic day planned out ready to be followed up by an amazing evening, and what happens?” Waverly asked her best friend, who was patiently listening as always.

“People start acting crazy.”

The pair were seated in the bullpen talking over a doughnut each while they waited for Nicole and Wynonna to return with those affected by whatever it was going around town.

“Exactly! Things can’t even run smoothly on Valentine’s Day.”

“Is it really a baby Cupid though?” Jeremy questioned, doubtful about it.

“After everything you’ve seen and been through, are you really questioning it?”

Hearing a commotion, the pair looked over at the doors and watched wide-eyed as Robin and Wynonna carried an incoherent Nicole into the station.

“Oh, my God, what happened?” Waverly demanded to know as she jumped to her feet and hurried over to help carry her girlfriend’s weight.

“It got her too,” Wynonna grunted.

“Way-ver-lyyyy,” Nicole grinned stupidly. “I la-la-la-la-la-la-lovvveeee you.”

“It’s totally drugs,” Jeremy decided.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you got her drunk again,” Waverly directed at her sister.

“Well, if I had I wouldn’t have let her get behind the wheel.”

Hazel eyes widened. “She was driving?”

“If you can call what she was doing driving,” Wynonna replied, wincing as fingers tangled into her free-flowing locks and tugged. “She started weaving from left to right and ended up crashing into a mound of snow.”

“You’re so soft, Wynonna,” Nicole said dreamily. “Like a cuddly-wuddly teddy bear.”

“Let’s get her into a cell,” Wynonna directed, more than ready to be done with this madness.

“We can’t put her in a cell with everyone else! She’s the sheriff,” Waverly pointed out.

“She’s lost her damn mind, Waverly. What do you suggest we do with her?”

Looking around for a solution, it came to her. “Her office! Let’s put her in her office. I can keep an eye on her then.”

Releasing his hold on Nicole as Waverly slipped under the redhead’s arm, Robin stepped back.

“Wavey!” Nicole cheered, tilting dangerously and nearly toppling them all over. “My Wavey. You’re like a… happy little pixie who magically gives me loads of…”

Hand over Nicole’s mouth, Waverly blushed. “Stop talking.”

“I’ll uhh… go get Eddie and Colt out of my car,” Robin told them. “Then should I stick around or head back out?”

“Bunny and Champ need putting into the cells,” Wynonna told him, awkwardly looking over her shoulder at him. “Then you should probably clean up the mess in the back of the sheriff’s car ‘cause we all know she won’t be happy if we leave it as is.”

“Mess?”

“Champ totally wet himself, so careful when handling.”

“Is Robin not acting sheriff while Nicole’s… out of commission?” Jeremy asked.

The gang all looked around at each other, not one of them having a clue.

“I’m in charge,” Wynonna announced, deciding she liked the idea.

“You’re not even technically on the payroll,” Robin pointed out. “I’m at least a deputy.”

“Nicole told me. One night. When none of you were around.” She smiled, not sure if they believed her or not but trying to look convincing. “Right, Nicole?”

“Right,” the redhead nodded. “Or left, I’m easy.” She moved her head to nudge Waverly’s. “But only easy for you, baby.”

“After Nicole, I’m the most senior and capable of handling…” Wynonna inhaled, lost for words. “…Whatever it is we’re handling. So, I order Robin to deal with the prisoners…”

“They’re not technically prisoners,” Robin stated.

“…And the mess in Nicole’s car. While the two bookworms start looking… stuff up.”

Knowing there was no point trying to argue with her, Robin gave a mini salute and took his leave.

“Come on, honey, let’s get you into your office,” Waverly cooed at her girlfriend.

“Noooo, I wanna be out here with you.” Nicole looked in the direction of the office. “It’s so far away, Wavey. I don’t want to be so far away.” Brown eyes started filling with tears.

The youngest Earp looked at her sister, not sure what to do.

“I guess we will be able to keep a proper eye on her out here,” Wynonna conceded.

Jeremy pulled out a chair then stood back as the two sisters manoeuvred Nicole around and lowered her into the seat, a puzzled frown marring his brow as he pondered the problem. “Maybe it is airborne,” he mused.

“Can’t be, I’m not infected,” Wynonna pointed out.

“Nor me,” Waverly added.

“Maybe it’s passed on by touch then. Did she have contact with anyone infected?” He took out a notepad and pen to take notes.

“She led Bunny over to the cruiser and put Champ in cuffs before leading him over to the cruiser,” Wynonna replied. “Double dose of infected fun.” She frowned. “No, wait a minute, if that’s how it gets you, I should be infected because Eddie grabbed me and spun me around in a dance.”

Hearing footsteps in the hallway, Jeremy looked up, brown eyes watching his boyfriend move past the open doors with a quietly sobbing Champ. “Robin, did you touch any of the infected?” he called out.

“Kinda am right now.”

“Before. When you were in town.”

Stopping, the deputy gave the question some thought. “Fairly sure I touched Mrs. Loblaw when I first arrived on scene. Why?”

Shoulders dropping in disappointment, Jeremy shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.” He looked at Wynonna and Waverly. “Not by touch either.”

“My tongue feels funny,” Nicole announced, before sticking her tongue out and trying to look at it. “Dov it ook hunny?”

“It looks fine,” Waverly assured her.

“I don’t want it to be broken,” the redhead said tearfully. “I won’t be able to give you multiple…”

Eyes wide, Waverly slapped a hand across her girlfriend’s mouth before she could say what she thought she was about to say. “It’s all good, baby. I promise.”

“Drugged Nicole is as much fun as drunk Nicole,” Wynonna smirked.

“You like almost hearing all about my sex life?” Waverly questioned, unimpressed.

Wynonna pulled a face. “Fair point.”

“So, what do the infected all have in common?” Waverly wondered out loud, getting back to business. “Bunny! She was the start of all this. Nicole got called out to deal with Bunny causing a disturbance.”

“Patient zero,” Jeremy smiled, walking over to the whiteboard and picking up a marker pen. He wrote patient zero and drew a sad face before writing Bunny’s name under that. “We need to find out where she’s been, who she’s been in contact with.” He looked at Wynonna. “You’ll have to do that, Wynonna.”

“Why me?”

“Because everyone else is busy,” Waverly pointed out. “And you declared you’re in charge.”

“Uhh, fine.” Blue eyes rolled. “With great power comes no fun at all.”

“Try and find out how she had contact with Eddie and Colt,” Jeremy requested. “They were the next to be infected, right?”

Wynonna shrugged. “We got into town and Eddie was dancing, Colt was crying, and we got told Doug Amplas was acting odd.”

“Ooh!” Waverly perked up, suddenly remembering something else. “Tanner Beauclerc! Tanner got chased by a cow.” She looked over at Jeremy. “I guess animals can get it as well then, right?”

Nicole was busy reorganising the desk she sat at. She moved the pen holder to the left. Then to the right. The files got pushed backwards and the computer screen turned slightly to the left.

“Maybe that’s how Haught-shot got it,” Wynonna mentioned. “I think she touched the cow before touching Bunny.”

The sheriff growled unhappily. “It doesn’t look right. The yin is off from the yang.” She shifted the pen holder back to the left and moved the files over to the other side of the desk.

“Maybe it did start with the cow,” Wynonna suggested. “I mean, who can say where the cow even came from.”

“Nicole mentioned finding out who the owner is,” Waverly recalled. “I can do that.” She smiled brightly, until it occurred to her that she had no idea how to track down owners of lost cows. “Jeremy and I will retrace the footsteps of the lost cow…”

“Hoof steps,” Wynonna corrected.

“…While you find out what Bunny did this morning,” Waverly finished, ignoring her sister’s interruption. “Start at her house and go from there.”

Wynonna nodded. “Just one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“What are we going to do with Nicole?”

The trio all looked at the redhead who was leaning sideways in the swivel chair and spinning mindlessly around and around as she watched the ceiling.

*** * * * ***

In town, Jeremy and Waverly found the dairy cow tied to a lamppost and after scanning the tag in her ear, tracked down the owner and informed him of his lost animal.  
“I’m just saying,” Waverly said as they waited for the farmer to turn up. “Locking her in her office was a better solution than handcuffing her to something.”

“I am on your side,” Jeremy mollified. “But we both know what Wynonna’s like. She’s more a run-in-headfirst-and-hope-for-the-best kinda girl.”

“Do you think I made the right choice?” Waverly fretted, thinking over all the ways her girlfriend could hurt herself while left unsupervised.

“Yes. You took all the sharp objects out of the room and you locked the door,” he smiled. “With any luck, she’s crashed out on the sofa sleeping it off.” He flinched as the cow’s tail flicked him in the face. “The cow’s not acting crazy,” he commented. “Everyone else is acting nuts, but the cow is standing here calm and acting perfectly normal.”

The youngest Earp looked from her friend to the cow. “You’re right.” Her shoulders slumped. “It’s not the cow.”

Jeremy shook his head.

“Which means it’s probably Bunny, right?”

“Right.”

“And if it’s not?”

“No clue.” Realising he wasn’t being helpful, he nudged her shoulder and smiled reassuringly. “But don’t worry, we’re totally on the case.”

Looking along the empty road, Waverly pouted when she still saw no sign of the farmer approaching. She was freezing. She hated the cold and today the temperature had dipped below minus, so despite being wrapped up in a padded winter coat, scarf and earmuffs, she still felt the late winter chill creeping into her bones.

“What are you two dweebs doing?”

The two friends turned to see Mercedes Gardner approaching, looking stylish as ever in a designer coat and heels, her handbag definitely not a cheap knockoff.

“Hey, Mercedes,” Waverly greeted with a warm smile. “We’re… cow sitting.”

A perfectly sculpted russet eyebrow lifted in question. “Cow sitting?”

“This cow escaped its home and we’re waiting on the owner,” Jeremy told her. “How do you feel? Crazy?”

Blinking at the strange little man, Mercedes looked to Waverly for some clarity.

“People have been acting all sorts of crazy. Haven’t you noticed?”

The redhead looked around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “Nothing these people do surprises me. The town has always been a little… you know. Why are you two cow-sitting? Where’s Wynonna and Nicole?”

“Nicole’s gone crazy,” Jeremy said far more cheerfully than he should of.

“Not ready-to-be-put-in-a-madhouse crazy,” Waverly corrected. “Just a little…” She looked at Jeremy for help.

“Unusual crazy,” he supplied.

“She’s acting like she’s been drugged,” Waverly finished.

“And Wynonna?”

“Wy’s retracing Bunny Loblaw’s footsteps,” Waverly replied jovially. “We think she might have been the start of all this.” She proceeded to fill Mercedes in on everyone else who had been infected.

“And you thought the cow was responsible?” Mercedes asked in amusement once Waverly was done.

“This is Purgatory, anything is possible,” Jeremy shrugged.

“Well, as much as I would love to stick around and watch you two cow-sit, I have coffee going cold and a date to get ready for. It is Valentine’s Day after all.”

“Mercedes,” Wynonna greeted as she approached. “Has it got you too?”

Smiling at her old friend, the redhead shook her head. “No, but I have just heard it got the sheriff. Congrats on your promotion.”

“What did you find out, Wynonna?” Waverly questioned her sister.

“According to Bunny’s poor husband, she threw a fit this morning when he didn’t give her the necklace she had been hoping for and swanned off to town to buy it her damn self. Bringing me here and close to coffee.” She eyed Mercedes’s cup. “Which I haven’t had all day, thanks to a certain greedy sheriff who drank mine. Are you gonna drink that?”

Connecting the pieces, hazel eyes widened as Waverly realised how it was spreading. “It’s the coffee!” she announced excitedly. Looking around at the three startled faces, she presented her case. “Bunny would have stopped off in the diner for a hot cup of coffee after driving into town and finding the jewellery shop closed…”

“How do you know the jewellery shop was closed?” Jeremy asked.

“Because Nicole got called in so early this morning, the only place open would have been the diner.” Her eyes were sparkling, her face lit up with the excitement of being onto something. “Mr and Mrs Amplas always go to the diner on Valentine’s morning because it’s where they had their first date, and it makes sense that Eddie and Colt stopped off there too.”

“And you bought Nicole coffee!” Jeremy put in, seeing the logic. He put his hand up to high-five her, which they did with glee. He eyed the cup Mercedes was holding. “Can I have that? I’ll need to run some tests on it to confirm what we think.”

Horrified that the coffee might be drugged, Mercedes happily handed it over. “Damn this town. A girl can’t even buy a coffee without something happening!”

*** * * * ***

Walking back into the bullpen, Waverly gasped as she lay eyes on her girlfriend licking the pane of glass of her office door. Red locks were sticking out left, right and centre, her blue police shirt was untucked and unbuttoned, but she looked blissfully happy. “No, honey, don’t do that!”

Nicole grinned at her girlfriend. “Hi, Waverly.” Brown eyes landed on her waving hand. “I’m waving at Waverly!” she noted and started laughing hysterically.

Waverly hurried over to the office with the intention of calming her down and getting her redressed.

“What is it with the crazies and glass?” Wynonna asked.

“Oh, you’re back,” Robin stated as he walked over to where the gang were gathered. “So, the good news is Bunny’s put her clothes back on…”

“She took them off?” Jeremy asked in surprise.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Robin shook his head, trying to dispel the image from his head. “Ever.”

“And the bad news?” Wynonna asked, knowing good was always followed by bad.

“Champ is singing “This Is Me” and it will never sound the same again,” he winced.

“What are you doing back here?” Wynonna asked. “And how long has Nicole been acting crazier?”

He looked over at the sheriff’s office and saw Waverly with Nicole. “I haven’t been in, so I couldn’t tell you. I had to bring in Randy and Chrissy Nedley.”

Blue eyes widened. “It got Nedley?” Slowly a grin started to spread across her lips. “What sort of crazy is he?”

“Scary crazy. He flipped a table in the diner, threw cutlery and dishes and scared a lot of people.”

“And Chrissy?” Waverly asked, stepping out of Nicole’s office with Nicole, shirt rebuttoned and hair smoothed down.

“Not so scary. She was pacing, pulling at her hair, irritable. I brought them in and put them in a cell.”

“Not together?” Waverly questioned in worry.

Robin shook his head. “So, what brought you all back here?”

“I want to do naughty things to you,” Nicole said non-too-quietly to her girlfriend. “My tongue is feeling attached to my body again and my hand doesn’t feel floaty.”

“Please stop talking,” Waverly groaned in embarrassment.

“We think it’s in the coffee,” Jeremy told him, holding up the cup of coffee Mercedes had handed him. “I just need to test it to see if we’re right.”

“Drugged coffee makes sense,” Robin nodded.

“You mean you didn’t believe the whole baby Cupid thing?” Wynonna teased.

“Anything is possible in Purgatory,” he shrugged. “But if it is drugs, I think Bunny’s dose is wearing off. She’s more coherent, put her clothes back on, and seems to be suffering the aftereffects of something.”

Jeremy looked down at his watch and calculated the time. “It’s been about six hours then, going on the theory she got into town around seven this morning and drank coffee not long after that.”

“So, Nicole’s got another four hours?” Waverly asked in concern.

“Don’t forget she had a double dose,” Wynonna pointed out.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t count on her being back to normal until close to midnight,” Jeremy said apologetically. “If we’re right about all this.” He looked at his boyfriend. “How is Bunny?”

“Irritable, tired, demanding to know what the hell happened.”

“Nothing new,” Wynonna commented. “Jeremy get testing that cup, we need to know exactly what it is we’re dealing with.” She looked at her sister and Nicole, the sheriff still clearly under the influence. “Don’t worry, baby girl, we’ll get your honey back to her usual bossy self.” Smiling, she shot a wink at her sister, who smiled back gratefully.

*** * * * ***

Curled up in front of the burning fire with her sister was not how Waverly had envisioned her Valentine’s Day. She had plans, very romantic plans, that may have seen the day ending with her dressed in a red silk negligee and little else. “There will be other Valentine’s Days,” she conceded. “But I feel really guilty for being the one who drugged her in the first place.”

“Baloney. You were being a sweet girlfriend and bringing her coffee. How were you to know it had been spiked.” She kissed her sister’s forehead and patted her thigh. “Now get out of here. You don’t want to be down here with me, when your girlfriend’s upstairs all alone, coming down from the effects of the day.”

“Finally!” Jeremy had been a little off in his calculations; it was approaching half past ten, not midnight, and finally Nicole was starting to return to her normal self. Smiling, Waverly got to her feet. “Do you have plans?”

“Got a text from Mercedes an hour ago. Her date was a dud, so she suggested an anti-valentine’s night out.”

“Have fun.”

“Not as much as you I’m sure,” Wynonna grinned.

Rolling her eyes, Waverly said goodnight and headed for the stairs. The youngest Earp made her way up to her room where Nicole was buried under the covers recovering from the effects of the day. “Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”

“Ugh, like I was drugged and now I’m coming down from the high,” the redhead groaned. She shifted slightly as Waverly took a seat next to her. “What happened?”

“The York brothers thought it would be funny to drug the diner’s coffee supply.”

“What? Those idiots!”

“They told Wynonna they thought it would be a harmless couple of hours of people running around with a sense of heightened euphoria, self-confidence, and romantic love.”

“So, it wasn’t Cupid hitting everyone with love arrows?”

“Sadly not,” Waverly smiled, brushing her hand through dishevelled red locks.

“What was the deal with the cow and Tanner Beauclerc then? I can’t imagine the cow bought itself a coffee.”

“According to a witness, Tanner decided it would be a good idea to try and ride the cow and the poor cow took offence and charged at her.” Slipping into bed, she pulled the groggy redhead into her arms and kissed the top of her head. “You, my love, got a double dose because you drank two cups in quick succession, which is why you’ve been out for the count for the last eleven hours. Bunny recovered after six hours and Champ just over three.”

“You and Jeremy figure everything out?” Nicole mumbled, warm and comfy snuggled up against her girlfriend.

“With a little help from Wynonna. She made a good acting sheriff.”

“She named herself acting sheriff?” Nicole lifted her head from Waverly’s chest so she could look into hazel eyes and smiled. “Course she did.” She settled back down. “She’ll probably try and convince me to make it official.”

“Probably,” Waverly smiled. “But, for tonight, let’s just enjoy what’s left of Valentine’s Day.” Taking out her phone, she scrolled down to the song she had downloaded and hit play, laughing as Nicole groaned.

_“Cupid, draw back your bow,_   
_And let your arrow go.”_

“That’s not funny.”

Waverly chuckled. “It’s a little funny.” She ran her hand down Nicole’s back, nails lightly scratching at the redhead’s T-shirt covered back. She thought it slightly selfish after what Nicole had been through, but she was in the mood to finish what they had started that morning.

Nicole’s body hummed with expectancy from the light touch. “Something you have in mind, baby?”

“Maybe.”

Reading the hesitancy in her girlfriend’s voice, Nicole smiled and gave her the green light. “I’m game if you are.” Lifting her head from Waverly’s chest once again, she pressed her lips to her girlfriend’s. The touch was tantalising and made her core clench in expectation of what was to come.

Cupping Nicole’s head, Waverly tangled her fingers into soft red locks, her other hand stroking over the outline of a breast. Nicole moaned wantonly and stroked a thigh with a possessive hand, fondling silky smooth skin.

Tongue pushing into Nicole’s mouth, Waverly started sitting up easing Nicole back, manoeuvring them until the sheriff was on her back and Waverly was hovering over her. “I think I like you like this,” she teased. “At my mercy.” Running a hand down her girlfriend’s body, she slipped inside the shorts and found her hot and slick and ready to be taken. Her lips connected with Nicole’s once again, her tongue slipping inside a willing mouth and mirroring the movement of her fingers.

Nicole moaned as her hips arched up into Waverly’s touch, ready for this and more than happy to let Waverly take the reins. Her lust turned to confusion as Waverly broke the kiss and pulled away from her. “What are you…?”

“Wait,” Waverly murmured, shifting to the side of the bed.

“Waves.” Her voice sounded desperate even to her own ears. She reached out and grasped her lover’s hand.

“Wait, baby. I…” Embarrassment swept in and Waverly wondered if she should just forget her plan. Nicole wouldn’t mind either way. But… she had planned this, had been planning it for a while. “One second.”

“No,” the redhead whined.

“One second, I promise.” Bending to kiss the pouting sheriff, Waverly stepped away from the bed, her hand slipping from Nicole’s grasp. “I just need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” With a smile gracing her lips, eyes sparkling, she sauntered out of her bedroom and made her way into the bathroom, just needing a couple of minutes to prepare.

Shedding her pyjamas, she wiggled into the silk negligee she had bought especially for this night knowing it would get Nicole in the mood. Not that it took much to get Nicole in the mood, but she wanted to make an effort. Good relationships required effort and this relationship was definitely good. The sort she wanted for the rest of her life.

Standing in front of the mirror staring at her reflection, she checked her appearance was… well, she was aiming for sexy, hot, alluring. Teasing her loose locks, she fluffed her hair around her shoulders into a sexy tousled look, then sprayed on a light amount of perfume to her neck and chest. She was ready. She was in the mood, good to go.  
 _What if Nicole thinks this is ridiculous?_ she pondered, still staring at her reflection. She couldn’t seem to get up the courage to leave the bathroom. _She didn’t hate my Christmas outfit. In fact, it led to some pretty hot sex, if I do say so myself._

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly and nodded. _Let’s do this._ Sporting her most seductive smile, she left the bathroom, grateful her sister was out for the evening, and confidently made her way back into her bedroom, ready to rock her girlfriend’s world.

She stopped just inside the doorway, smile slipping.

Her girlfriend was asleep.

Slouched in bed, chin resting on her own shoulder, Nicole was softly snoring.

“Nicole?” Just a small hiccup. Waverly walked over to the bed, still being sexy because Nicole was going to open her eyes and…. “Are you awake, sweetie?”

Nothing.

The redhead didn’t even stir.

Shoulders slumping, Waverly took a seat on the edge of the bed next to her girlfriend’s slumbering form and reached out to tenderly brush red locks back away from Nicole’s face. “Well, I suppose you have had quite the day,” she murmured.

“Hmm?”

“I got all sexy for you and you fell asleep on me,” Waverly said lightly.

Shifting into a more comfortable position, Nicole was drifting back to the land of nod. “Sorry, baby.”

“It’s fine. You sleep.” Leaning in, Waverly pressed a kiss to Nicole’s head then stood up and made her way around the bed to her side. “There’s always next year, I suppose.” Looking down at the negligee, she grinned. “Or even tomorrow morning.” Slipping into bed, she snuggled close to Nicole, savouring her warmth. “You owe me breakfast, Sheriff. Just forget the coffee!”

**The End.**

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts @Hartley_Blaze


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